She curled up on the bed, under layers of heavy sheets, a lump...she buried herself in the depth..tears rolling down her cheeks, every teardrop;a remorse, a realization, pain. All she did was love; to her heart's fullest.
She had let herself felt...for the first time, she had allowed the fences to crumble down.... The Other had become The Significant Other..she's falling; hard. A vulnerability she had never known. A fragile, scared living form she had evolved to be. A sudden surge of emotions hurling up her ever so diminished self. She lay there empty, alone confused. She felt her mind wandering, searching for the unknown. She swore she saw a heart
letting itself out the slightly opened window...with the door bolted, it had to find an alternative means...a desperation, she insisted. She realized no sooner than later, that she had been swimming in a pool of self pity.
She felt a tap on the shoulder, a face..and on opening the other eye, not just a face but faces.A wry smile. A forced laughter, . It was empty, like a seashell, robbed of its very own existence. ..They knew not of the suffering, the pain she bore....her very own heart that had been eating her up..reducing her to nothingness. She stared blankly at the walls..nodding, and then a few more times. She did not want them to think she was behaving odd and slightly disoriented,not certainly to think that she was weak. She realized furthermore that she had gone deaf, to a certain extent..., which at the moment seemed perfectly fine.She needed it. A coping mechanism she told herself. Finally, the laughter died down..the faces disappearing...she noticed the relief in her. She made herself comfortable in the very bed that had served a mother figure to her, where none existed, for her very own loving mother was a light years away from where she was; and she missed her so very badly. She felt herself weary, weak and lonely yet again...the familiar pangs of emotions. A whirlpool of tears..she kept swimming...exhausted..she laid there half asleep....a rhythm slowly pulling her to a state of unconsciousness.
